Friends

I have friends for different parts of my life, which is why I like the idea of Jesus being a friend.

I have lots of friends but that is because I share certain parts of what I do and who I am with different people, and that is because they are different people and can input different things into my life.

I spent 3 nights with a friend who is very open and can seem very blunt. She understands parts of me others don’t get, and will also be very honest with me about things. I like her for that. I’ve just had lunch with another friend who shares all her stories and reminds me of what I was like when I was her age. It’s nice because I don’t feel old and wise just amazed at the person I’ve become, and impressed that she is walking through it better than I did. Maybe it helps her to know that I’ve been there and survived. I’ve got friends who I know through church, through home school, through being married, through various other parts of my life that support and guide and help with those parts of who I am. I could spend ages just listing all the friends I have and the great things they input into my life, but I won’t in case I miss someone out and I wouldn’t want to hurt a friend – not intentionally – so to all my lovely friends out there “I couldn’t do this without you” (“this” being life)

But I’m sad when I lose a friend, someone who was significant to me and shared a part of who I was. This friend hasn’t died but just decided to do a major change in her life and has moved on and away. I wonder if she thinks I disapprove of where she’s going with her life. As a friend I don’t think that is my role to approve or disapprove, but as a friend I would say if I thought she was being unwise. Maybe she’s afraid of being told she’s unwise. For me a friend is open and honest and trusts her friends. This person was closed about what she did, wasn’t honest about where her life was going and didn’t trust to share it with me. It’s sad. It’s sad to lose a friend by her lifestyle choice but it is also sad to lose someone who spoke into my life, who had a role to play in who I was and decisions I made. She may not have know that, but she did.

I have had other friends who’ve moved away or I’ve moved away from, some of whom if I see again we catch up where we’ve left off. The reason we’re not in touch is time commitment or just that locations don’t make it so easy and one isn’t so keen on emailing or facebooking. I have friends I don’t see from one year to the next. In fact some I haven’t seen or heard from in a couple of years, but I know the friendship is still there. But that is because when we do see each other we are open, honest and trust each other. For me when that goes I have to grieve the end of a friendship. This hasn’t happened very often but when it does it hurts just like a death.

I miss this friend and I’d like her back, but I fear if she comes back just that little bit of trust will be gone – maybe forever. Of course I forgive her and will continue to forgive her, but things change.

I suppose bringing this back to being a friend of Jesus, the great bit there is that He will never leave me, because He promised that, and I can tell Him everything about every aspect of my life – because He knows it already 🙂